Different Kind Of Struggle

Nightmares have become consistent,
Fights are my routine,
Disappointment is my emotion,
Exhausted, my body claims,
And yet I have gone beyond the breaking point.

Each day, I become quieter,
My confidence is all time low,
Failure is what my situation shows,
And yet, I have a hope of better tomorrow.

The cries have become muffled,
My eyes speak another story,
Restrained is my spirit,
Break free, my soul claims,
And yet, I am going on through the motions.

The highs are now my lows,
Don’t give a fuck is what I say,
Pain is now my best friend,
Hypocrite is what I see,
And yet, I am fighting for myself.
And yet, I am fighting for myself.

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Day 5, January

Everything is messy. Nothing works. Nothing clicks. Just an awful start. 

It’s funny how we all talked about self love and encourage it but at the end of the day, it’s the people you have interacted with makes an impact.

Even if you don’t know the person, they will still have an impact on how your day passes. But in the same way, you will create the impact on someone’s else’s life.

So, be kind. World has a little less of it already.

Day 4, January

Tricky thing is this, addictive even. I don’t want to get over it. The more I try to see, the more it speaks, enthralls me into this path of just being there. No judgement and just acceptance.

Its quite interesting to observe and see people react, believe and trust. While observation is intoxicating, what shall I see when the tables are turned?

Would the perception of myself shatter or would it be revolutionising?

We are so quick to notice, bond and judge people but dislike when it’s we are put to the same process.

We each have a good/bad side, what we choose to be is based on our interactions. Don’t assume the person you dislike, is really not a good person 

What Loneliness feels like..

There are days like –

You are on your phone going through the contact list, many names, so many people. You know you can hang out with them, have fun but you can’t call them up to share. As you move down the list, you can’t shake this anxious feeling that you are alone, may be you don’t have anyone. 

You keep the phone aside to shake off the feeling, try watching TV series on binge to just pass the time. After some episodes, your brain doesn’t register it as an entertainment. You go back and rewind the time when you had a real honest conversation with somebody. That anxious feeling comes back. 

You start feeling insecure. You start reminding your flaws as a reason why you are not a nice person to be with. You consider those flaws as a reason why nobody would find you interesting.

Cue in the songs which really connect with your feelings and showers with the memories that haunt you.

All you feel right now is to run away, just anything to get that feeling away. You don’t like it. You try to distract it away but no matter what you do, in the corner of your brain; you still feel the disconnect with the task you are doing.

If you are at work and if someone criticizes your work, you take it to your heart and add on the list why you feel undeserving.

You want to give it your best but somehow you fear that it’s not good enough and replay all the remark you were given to prove your thoughts.

You want to go somewhere out, so far that there will be just you and the nature but can’t seem to move out of your house. You always have task on your hand.

At night, you feel this longing, to be wanted to be heard, to have this one person who would be interested in knowing how your day was or just hug you till you feel normal. You want to desperately talk to someone and share this gut wrenching feeling but can’t.

You crave the touch of someone who would care, support but all you have right now is You and end up crying your heart out.

You are a strong person, you don’t want to burden your problems to anyone, so you put on your brave face and act like everything is fine while you are struggling with storms, thunder, hurricanes inside.

This feeling starts growing as days pass by and you accept it as a part of your life. 

But please listen dear, this isn’t you. Fight that feeling each day. No matter how strong it grows, fight it. Don’t let it have a say in it. Go for walks, jog. Play with kids or go to shelter house. Give. Talk. Even if you think you have no one, write it down and then conquer this feeling. Say no to it. You have yourself. This is your battle and you can do it.

If you need someone to just listen, comment or msg away. You are not alone in this.

Smile truly. 

Love,

Hema Sanghavi

Nay, thou be a fool!

Nay, thou be a fool,
The words have no meaning,
That comforting words brings no comfort,
That over and over sweet words applying on your skin,
That hope seems stretching,
Prolonged periods of absence,
One day will come,
Everything will be alright,
Nay, thou be a fool

Never trust someone on words my child. See, not watch but see their actions!!

-Hema Sanghavi

Written by Hema Sanghavi.

Inside my heart

Wanting and needing,
Lights eluding,
Hallucinating the love,
Delusional like romantics,
Dreams whispering about my demons,
Balancing is all an act,
Darkness blooming like a violet sky,
Lost and confused,
No grasp on reality,
Moving in circles,
Nothing to be found,
Nobody there,
Tears blinding the view,
The tragedy of life,
Alone and lost.
– Hema Sanghavi

Written by Hema Sanghavi.

Zachry K Douglas : The Most Soulful Poet

Zachry is on my second list of my favorite poets, i found his beautiful works on Instagram. My words fall short to describe him. He is a private person but he shares his emotions daily through his poem. He was in army, suffered depression ( active for suicide prevention), later found love.

He believes in soul. He named his writing series and also adorns a tattoo, “More Soul than Human”. I have been following him for almost a year and his works keeps getting better. He writes for his love, his emotions and one can see how slowly his soul is painted in transcripts.

He is one of the most humble person i have met, ever so sweet and caring ; unlike some he removes time and personally talks to everyone who has commented on his works or has messaged him.

He is available on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Tumblr. His book is out which is called “86”. You can purchase it from Amazon, or through http://www.underwatermountains.com

Following are some of his poems:

  1. The way he describes what everyone wants to do; Travel.

What a poet feels

2.  The way he writes about big things in the most simple manner. The simple truth to believe in oneself is described in such an amazing manner.

believe and conquer

3. All he needs is one sentence to describe complicated.

chaos 2

4. When he describes what chaos feels like..

chaos

5. The importance of conversation

conversation

6. When he knows what it feels like, yet inspires and advises other. All of his work has some optimism, like even if you are on the end of the rope, hang on…

hope

7. When he says i love you.. His works and words have some profound effect on me. He makes me believe in love, that there are some things i can hope for and go on.

iloveyou

8. When he talks about madness and sanity, although he talks about his love; for me personally it also reflects upon the societial views on sanity and madness, and to be what you want to be.

madness

8. When he describes his love to her, it just makes me swoon. He just describes every feeling into that perfect words.

meantohim

9. Although it seems a simple poem but i love how he loves something because it connects with her. When even a simple smile has so much meaning in his life.

mornings

10. The way he  describes being imperfect and loving it. He inspires me to and helps me not feel guilty of not confining to the norms.

not perfect

11. When he talks about his insecurities, his wounds yet has light in himself; believes in their love.

ring

12. This is one of the cutest and lovable poem i like.

smile

13. Simple truth. No words needed to explain.

the broken

14. You arent imaginary, you are real

time on earth

Love the way you write Zachry. Keep on writing and spreading the love.

Random thoughts

A short haul seems like the carriage has become stagnant,
The horses have been misled,
They miss the gentle caress, and small talks,
Those eyes in which they shared talks,
The path seems wavery,
Less troden,
Yet,
The world has been to verify the same path,
Greens are covered with snow,
The blood trickling in the corner,
The deforestation leads to murder,
And the white pale is red

Written by HemaSanghavi. Contact for any work.

Craves Him

She craves to be touched
But not by any of her lovers
Just him
His eyes had certain aura that made her weak for him
She wanted to see his eyes and be lost in it
The way his lips were shaped
She just wanted to kiss it and hear him moan her name
The way his lips felt on her neck gave her shivers
She longed for those soft warm lips
The hands, Oh his hands!
She blushed like beetroot at the thought!
The strong hands;
Were magic
They seemed to know what she needed
They could turn from soft to hard 
So strong yet comforting
She yearned for him
Craved just him
Because she knew that its only him now who could make her feel again
Love always,
HemaSanghavi

Written by HemaSanghavi. Contact for any work.