The experiment broke my shattered imagination,
The unease brought by it, unappealing and soul changing.
The intensity of the disaster so humongous that it would change the image,
The inner turmoil so nauseating that pleasure soon pierced and turned the virtuous to devil.
The pain so excruciating that seven circles of fire seemed nothing in comparison.
Walked into the path not meant to be and the distate was so unattractive that one had no option but to choose wisely.
The shattered, burnt and broken just learnt a lesson.
Nightmares have become consistent,
Fights are my routine,
Disappointment is my emotion,
Exhausted, my body claims,
And yet I have gone beyond the breaking point.
Each day, I become quieter,
My confidence is all time low,
Failure is what my situation shows,
And yet, I have a hope of better tomorrow.
The cries have become muffled,
My eyes speak another story,
Restrained is my spirit,
Break free, my soul claims,
And yet, I am going on through the motions.
The highs are now my lows,
Don’t give a fuck is what I say,
Pain is now my best friend,
Hypocrite is what I see,
And yet, I am fighting for myself.
And yet, I am fighting for myself.
If last few days are any indication, they would just shout one word, one emotion, that is how grateful I am.
I feel more than happy to be at this moment. Call it God’s grace or just luck, I am blessed with everything I could ever want. Family who support and love, friends who are as good as family, colleagues who are the most helpful and my boss who is understanding.
How can I not love the position I am right now? The hunger to learn more, the opportunity to prove so, home to live in and family who are the best.
Today somehow feels like things are going to change for better. Things will work soon. Hopefully, to the better tomorrow.
“So what happened?”
“Nothing. We just held hands. ”
“Really? Nothing more? Tell me everything!”
“How do I describe holding hands? It was the most intimate thing. No, I am not being coy. At first, it’s more shy. Just the softest touch on the fingers and then slowly glide towards the palm, holding them. Firm. Rugged palms exploring the soft lines of the other. You just don’t hold hands. You give them a part of you. Sign of trust and support. Like a kid trusting his mother to hold him if he fails to walk.
Those rugged hands tell a story of hardships and strength. Those small circling touches on the palm smooth your anxiety. Those holding hands promise security. Those enclosed hands proudly declare two souls conjoined. But above all, those warm hands somehow manage to melt the walls that you built over years. ”
Just another small snippet
– Hema Sanghavi
Don’t jump on seeing another soul. I know it resembles a lot like you but hold your stomping beats and let the brain focus for once.
I know it’s been years since you yearned and jumped in joy or blushed at the thought of the other but harness your desire.
I don’t want you to proclaim any affection for once. Brain very well knows the pain you grow through when you are injured.
The nights are tough and the logic seems to sleep but I want you to remember one line that brain keeps on repeating. ‘Action speaks louder than words’
The annihilation won’t be long if you succumb so easily. Be a wolf. Don’t give in easily. Let the other show you first. Reign your swooning because it won’t be long before you declare the other as your procession.
Oh heart, it’s simply foolish to let yourself wander in this world. Patience, dear.
– Hema Sanghavi
At times it’s better to step out of the situations and look through it like a spectator in the crowd.
Sometimes it’s better to be at the shore than be in the depth of ocean.
To to admire the heat from the fire than getting burnt.
But is it living?
Everything is messy. Nothing works. Nothing clicks. Just an awful start.
It’s funny how we all talked about self love and encourage it but at the end of the day, it’s the people you have interacted with makes an impact.
Even if you don’t know the person, they will still have an impact on how your day passes. But in the same way, you will create the impact on someone’s else’s life.
So, be kind. World has a little less of it already.
Tricky thing is this, addictive even. I don’t want to get over it. The more I try to see, the more it speaks, enthralls me into this path of just being there. No judgement and just acceptance.
Its quite interesting to observe and see people react, believe and trust. While observation is intoxicating, what shall I see when the tables are turned?
Would the perception of myself shatter or would it be revolutionising?
We are so quick to notice, bond and judge people but dislike when it’s we are put to the same process.
We each have a good/bad side, what we choose to be is based on our interactions. Don’t assume the person you dislike, is really not a good person
There are instances where you make silly mistakes and be embarrassed about it.
May be it’s about those small instances which makes you more better, wiser.
It’s been three days already since the new year has begun and it hasn’t changed drastically. Still sleeping late, not exercising and eating junk food as always. Yet it still brings hope in me, to be better than I was before, to challenge myself.
It’s this moment which calms my beating, nervous heart *insert a gif of Shifu’s (Kung fu panda) inner peace *
Something tells me that it’s going to be okay!
It’s okay if you don’t like your work at times and feel not satisfied. It’s okay if you strive for perfection and take a whole day for it.
Make it count.
You will meet different people and not everyone will like you. I think at the end of the day, its better to feel you have done something you are proud of rather than comprising on what you feel